Just say "YES"

Several months an old friend that I reconnected with on Facebook told me she often thought of me and my "just say yes" philosophy of parenting. I had to ask her what she was referring to because I had forgotten. So, she reminded me of something I had learned when I just had one or two kids and knew everything about parenting. (Man I miss knowing everything, it was the best).

The just say "YES" philosophy was to say yes as often as you possibly can, that way when you say no, kids know that you mean it. Your automatic response is "how can we make this work?" instead of  "no!"

I hate to admit it but my automatic response is often no. If I stop and really be present, in the moment with my kids and think about what they are saying, I can say yes more often. Especially to the younger kids who are just really asking for time with me. I will always have to say no to some things that don't meet our standards, but I was grateful for the reminder to try to say yes when I can.

One thing we are doing this summer to help me look for the positive and say "you did great" instead of "why didn't you" more often is tokens. I used a coupon and got nearly 200 tokens from Chuck E. Cheese (what does the E. stand for?) anyway, I am trying to look for the good and point it out with a token. The boys all have a jar and so far it's going well. I'm really trying to not take them away (I'll admit I took a couple away when there was a major punch fest going on). I want it to be a positive fun thing. The only downside is at the end of the summer we are going to have to spend a long time at Mr. Cheese's to use up all these tokens.


The Tanner Family said...

Great idea! I think I like the whole token thing better than real money.

Angela said...

Thanks, although my older kids would rather have money I'm sure. :)